Saturday 2nd April 2011

Today I had to go to the hospital to have the second steriod injection into baby's lungs - boy is that an uncomfortable experience!  To be honest it has left my legs so heavy that I haven't moved too far from the couch today (my husband jokingly calls it lazyitus!).  I am just soooo tired - the weight in my chest is killing me and to be honest I am looking forward to Tues when baby is being induced.  I am still only 34 weeks but the problems I am experiencing now mean that my quality of life is seriously impeded at the moment so its time for baby to arrive so that hopefully we can try to sort things out with me.  I am still really scared as I am facing the unknown as I could have further growth when baby arrives or they could regress - no-one knows.  Also, I have been told I will be given milk suppressant tablets once I have had baby as milk coming in could cause further issues for me but I read that one of the side effects could be hair loss.  Now I have gone further into worry mode - as if this isn't all bad enough already??

I also had some very rude people staring at me today (and making it obvious).  I can't tell you how it makes me feel - I just want to be a hermit.  I know I look a freak but I just wish people could be slightly more tactful.  Either that or I get a tshirt made proclaiming "I have Gigantomastia - I honestly didn't pay for these!" which can be worn each time I leave the house.  Now the summer is coming I am getting more anxious of going out as I have no way of covering up and the thought feels me with dread.....  I have had women looking at me like I am something nasty they have trodden in and men just leer and point and stare.  It really does affect you psychologically.  Anyway I am logging off for now am sure I will be back soon with more updates!